


Tell Me To Stay

by FrecklesandFandoms



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: College AU, F/F, yumikuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 10:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1895043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrecklesandFandoms/pseuds/FrecklesandFandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ymir is skeptical about starting her freshman year in college. After all, she isn't even sure what she wants to do with her life. Part of her thinks she shouldn't be there at all. But after meeting her new roomate, a cute perky girl named Krista, she decides maybe it isn't so bad. This demeanor changes after a rocky first year however, and she decides to enlist in the army. She is soon drafted overseas, and though she promises to write to Krista back home, it isn't nearly enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me To Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Wow so this is my first ever fanfiction! I'm really excited for it. It might take me quite a while. But here's the first chapter! If things go well I hope I can get the next one up soon. Improving my writing is top priority, and so is getting you guys a healthy dose of YumiKuri.
> 
> Edit: guys I really love hearing your opinions and positive critiques! I want to improve, and to know what you think, and it makes me incredibly happy to hear from you. So leave a comment if you can!

Life consists of a lot of choices. That’s the basis for life, really. Choosing between doing this or that; making a good decision or a bad one. I won’t tell you that I made a lot of good decisions in my life because that would be a lie. But I will say this: my choice to devote my life to Krista—no, Historia Reiss? It was the best one I’ve ever made.

 

* * *

 

I arrived at my dormitory just as the sun was slipping down beneath the horizon. A little late, of course, as punctuality has never been my defining trait. My arms, like many of the other freshman, were loaded with baskets and boxes of varying shapes and sizes. Moving in to a new room, with a new bed and a new roommate was sure to be exciting. Or so the others seemed to think. I, on the other hand, was dreading the obvious necessity of getting to know the girl I would be rooming with for the next year. I can't say I'm the warmest person on Earth, and I don't get along well with others. To put it simply, team building games in high school were the bane of my existence.

 

There were plenty of thoughts swirling through my mind as I nudged the door of my new room open. Part of me was praying to some god or another that nothing would be knocked out of my arms. In fact I was so preoccupied with not dropping anything that I didn’t even notice the small girl on the other side of the room who had clearly already settled in much earlier today. That wasn't surprising. I was one of the last to arrive. What can I say? Waking up early is a pain in the ass. It wasn’t until I had unceremoniously dumped my boxes and bags on the only available bed that I became aware of her presence. The small squeak of the spinning chair she was sitting in startled me. I straightened up and turned around, eyes narrowing. But I’ll admit, my first thought was _holy shit._

 

My facial expression must have very suddenly changed from one of irritation to surprise, because the girl tilted her head and arched an eyebrow at me inquisitively.

 

“I didn’t startle you, did I? You came in with so much stuff! I was going to offer you help but you seemed to have had it just fine,” She paused, "You must be Ymir." 

 

I had already wiped the shocked expression off my face, and I replied with a tone reminiscent of a teenager who wanted nothing more than to listen to blaring music and be antisocial. 

 

“That’s me." I said, "And you're Krista."

 

I said no more than that, simply scanning her face. Curiosity got the better of me at times, and I hoped she didn’t think I was staring. She had the lightest blonde hair of anyone I’d ever seen. It seemed to glow in the faint evening light, as though she had a halo around her head. Her eyes were incredibly pure- a very light blue. I wouldn’t have thought it possible for me of all people to be so entranced by someone’s eyes, but hers seemed to radiate warmth and kindness. It was absurd. Like some kind of illustration. She was beautiful, though. Insanely beautiful. In a delicate kind of way. She looked almost fragile. I knew I was a huge contrast to that. Me, with my abundance of freckles, my dark olive skin, and even darker hair. I am in no way delicate. I have broad shoulders, and muscular arms, and I was the tallest girl in my graduating class. My eyes are just a boring old brown. I wasn’t self-conscious, but I found myself wondering if she thought anything of me at all.

 

Stupid.

 

I tore my eyes away from her face and turned back to my luggage. Let’s face it: staring at my new roommate as if she was some kind of angel was not the way to make a normal first impression. I didn’t know how to make conversation either, so I hoped that either she’d make it herself, or she’d leave me to unpack. Maybe she would go out. After all, classes didn’t start until Monday, and it was Saturday. She had to have friends, right? The thought of her not having someone to be with was mind-boggling. Less mind-boggling however, was my reaction towards her.

 

I’m not going to lie, I’m really gay. Like... really, really gay.

 

I’ve known it for years now. I’ve just never told anyone. There was no reason to. I never found anyone worth asking out. I figure that my friends from back home know already despite my silence. I’d never taken any interest in boys at all, and I kind of have a little bit of that stereotypical lesbian look. You know, tom-boyish. I’ll never stand for those stereotypes, but there’s no denying I fit them.

 

But I’ll stop you right here and now. I know what you’re thinking. _Typical! She’s lesbian! Of course she’s falling in love with the first fucking girl she lays eyes on!_

 

No. I thought she was pretty, and that’s all. I’m allowed to have a fucking opinion, thank you very much. That really was it. I thought she was pretty- well, more than pretty. But it wasn't like I was going to do anything about it. I wasn't drooling over her, or anything. Jeez.

 

Regardless of the thoughts racing through my head, unpacking was a tedious process. I’d made the smart decision to have all my clothing folded when I packed it, so putting it in the provided dresser proved easy. All I had to do was transfer it without unfolding everything. I'm not the most graceful of people, sure. But even I could do that. I was also not a huge fan of shopping. All of my clothes fit into two of four drawers without an issue, unlike other dressers I'd seen that were practically overflowing with new and old tops, skirts, pants, and mismatched socks that weren't at all needed. And then there was the fact that I'd never, let me repeat that,  _never_ be caught dead in a dress.

 

Half an hour later everything was unpacked. A minifridge hummed softly in the corner waiting to be filled with energy drinks and week-old sandwiches, my desk was set up and more resembled the messy thing I so often fell asleep on back home, (complete with sketchbook, laptop, and a fuckton of pencils), my bed was made, and I was utterly and completely bored. I’d already seen the campus during the visiting time earlier that summer, and I’d met some of the freshman and sophomores who I might have classes with. Studying to get into medical school took a lot, though. I wasn't looking forward to the guaranteed piles of homework and hours upon hours pouring over textbooks to memorize facts that may or may not be on the next test. Plus, I wasn’t entirely sure this was where I wanted to go in life. It was just a place to start.

 

I sat down on my bed with a sigh, leaning against the headboard. My legs were stretched out in front of me. I noticed there was a hole in my left sock, and my big toe stuck out, completely exposed. Crap. Another pair ruined. Oh well. It seemed to me that ruining socks would forever be a universal constant in my life. That's just the way things were.

 

The room was quiet, but I could hear Krista at her computer, typing away. Her nails clicked loudly each time they hit a key. She hadn’t said anything to me after I’d briefly introduced myself. I thought maybe she wasn't very talkative despite her peppy introduction. That, or she was content with indulging in the internet and ignoring me. The latter seemed to me to be the most logical of the two possibilities. It was pretty easy to lose track of time with all the pop-ups and chat rooms and friend requests that all seemed so pointless yet so absolutely necessary at the same time.

 

As if she could read minds, Krista shut her computer and turned to me. Her smile seemed to light up the entire room. The sun had already pretty much disappeared from the sky, so the only actual light we had was coming from the two bulbs in the ceiling and her desklamp. It made for a comfortable and soft glow; and with how exhausted I was it was a relief that we weren't plagued with harsh fluorescent lighting. It might have amped up the irritation levels to a dangerous zone.

 

“Hey, Ymir? I figure since we’re going to be roommates we might as well... you know, get to know each other. It’s kind of late now, but tomorrow a few of my friends and I are going down to the beach since it’s still warm out. Do you want to come? I mean, I don’t know if you have friends here yet—”

 

I cut her off and cracked a small, lopsided grin.

 

“I don’t. I mean, I don't live anywhere near here."

 

I had half a mind to decline; to give some bullshit excuse as to why I couldn't go. But I didn't have one. Maybe what I needed was to make a friend or two, as unnecessary as it seemed at the time.

 

"Sure. I guess I can spare the time."

 

I figure my tone was a little less than excited. Maybe a little cold. But I’m not good at being warm and cuddly. Not when I don't really feel it, at least. I don't force fake enthusiasm. It’s just not me. I soon learned that it really isn’t hard when you’re completely infatuated with another person. In that particular moment I was not, and I hardly thought anything of the beach meet up. It would probably be awkward. I didn't know any of Krista's friends, but chances were they all already knew each other. This was sure to be interesting.

 

I yawned then, and swung my legs over the edge of the bed to stand up. It had been a long day, and I wanted nothing more than a hot shower and to listen to some music. I declared in a monotone that I was heading off to the showers and left without another word. Krista replied with a  nod and small "Okay." that let me know she'd heard me. She then turned back to her computer. From the looks of it she was surfing the website of the university. So she was a determined student. Maybe she could give me some lessons in, well, not slacking off. That might save my ass in the near future. Dedicated student I am not, and never will be.

 

With a towel slung over my shoulder and a shower caddy in my left hand, I pretty much already looked like your typical college kid at eight pm. I definitely didn't stand out here. Not only was I no longer the tallest—really a shocker—but because of the amount of students my dark hair and freckles wasn't one of a kind. I remember passing a boy with skin and hair like mine on the campus tour. This was actually a relief. I was eager to blend in, not needing the attention, and not seeking it.

 

The showers were packed when I got there. Apparently a lot of the other students had had the same idea as me. I found an open stall in the back and spent quite a while just standing under the scorching stream of water. I was used to very hot showers. They always helped me clear my head. Oddly enough, seeing the mirrors fog up reminded me strikingly of the times I’d stayed in cheap and sketchy motels instead of returning home to sleep. They were never very clean, but they were what I could afford. For a short while in high school I had run away; set on living my own life outside the strict walls and rules of the community in which I was stuck. I wanted to do whatever _I_ decided to do, and not be told by some prissy teacher with a ruler up her ass what was right and what was wrong. On the road I felt like I could be myself. It was a huge difference. But that was also a rough time in my life. I made a whole lot of mistakes. I’m glad I decided to change.

 

By the time I came out of the shower stall there were significantly less girls waiting around. I twisted the water out of my short hair, hating the sight of it down in the mirror. It looked stringy and gross, but putting it back into a clip would only make an ugly crease so I waited for it to dry. I brushed my teeth, staring into the mirror as I did so. The hot water made my skin feel raw and tight, as if it were stretched taut over my bones. Because of its dark olive tone though, it didn’t look it. My freckles still stood out on my face and my neck, running all the way down my shoulders. Too many. Far too many to count. I put a clip back in my hair and left the showers feeling significantly more exhausted than I had felt before I left the dorm.

 

When I returned to the room, Krista had already changed into pajamas. Her golden hair had been tied up into a messy bun at the top of her head, and on anyone else it would have looked absolutely ridiculous. It was one of those styles that was obviously started by someone lazy and drunk off their ass, and by some miracle it had stuck. Not something anyone with standards or a sense of self-respect would ever attempt. Somehow she pulled it off and still looked attractive with that enormous knot on her head. I averted my gaze. She was reading a book, and she looked up when I came in. She looked disoriented, as though she’d just climbed out of the book rather than simply looked up from it. Her eyes focused on me however, and that same easy smile from earlier came back.

 

“Had a good shower, did you? It's nicer than I expected." She waited for me to reply. I didn't, so she added, "First night on our own! It’s exciting, isn’t it?”

 

I frowned. She didn’t see it, because I’d turned to my dresser to pull a shirt over my head- my favorite shirt to sleep in. It was just a grey v-neck but it was oddly comfortable. Just putting it on made me feel a little better. The truth was this wasn’t my first night on my own. So no, I didn’t find it all that special. I probably should have. I should have found it exhilarating like the rest of the girls. But I wasn’t as wide-eyed and open-minded as they were. Actually, I was completely indifferent. 

 

Regardless, I shrugged.

 

“It’s a relief.” That much was true, “Really all I’ve wanted is to get away from home. University seemed like the logical place to go. ‘Dunno why I was even accepted here.”

 

I smirked and sat down at my desk. It really was a wonder I'd been accepted. Less than outstanding grades and a knack for pissing people off, my high school years hadn't been those of a reliable student. I flipped open the last page in my sketchbook I’d drawn on. I used to doodle in those old motels. Whatever I was feeling would come out in the form of a being. Personified anger or indifference or loyalty; emotions became tangible with a pencil and some paper.

 

I heard Krista’s sheets rustle softly, and then the dull thump of feet on the scratchy carpeted floor. She’d stood up, and from the squeak of a chair a moment later, she’d gone back to her computer.

 

“I’m sure you’re very smart!” She said, “Give yourself some credit. They don’t take just anyone here.”

 

I guess she had a point. But I was having trouble seeing it clearly. I kept my head bent over my drawing, though I wasn’t drawing some random person anymore. Now a face that was distinctly familiar was taking shape.

 

I hadn’t meant to draw her. It just sort of happened. I wasn’t paying attention to the structure of the face, just the fact that I wanted pencil to paper. I closed the book a moment later, eyebrows drawn in. Why on Earth was she making such an impression on me? We'd literally exchanged a couple of sentences and yet...

 

I sighed and pulled out my class schedule for the umpteenth time. I knew it like the back of my hand, but I still read it again and again. Checking and double-checking. I was here in university. I had to actually try. At least in the beginning. But fuck, I so didn’t want to. There were other things I could be doing with my life. For a while I'd contemplated enlisting in the military. That seemed to be more appealing than being stuck in classes for four years, and then god knows how many more to get a decent job. The part of me that loved to fight and couldn't stand sitting still loved the idea.

 

“Yeah,” Was my short reply, “Maybe. You're a flatterer, huh?”

 

She giggled, and the sound was the lightest, more heart-warming sound I'd ever heard. It made my stomach churn. I forced myself to focus on something else. If I allowed myself to like her more and more each minute, we'd have a huge problem. Still, that seemed like it wasn't an option. Krista was just so likable. There was something about her that I couldn't ignore, that made me incapable of treating her with the same indifference I treated everyone else.

 

The rest of the evening was spent mostly in silence. I went to bed around eleven; a whole hour after Krista. Apparently she was a deep sleeper, because she didn’t stir once. Not even when I stumbled getting up to get a bottle of water from the minifridge. I don't know why that struck me as strange. Maybe I had some fucked up image of a disney princess; someone who would wake at the drop of a pin or the poke of a pea. She looked the part with her fair skin and blue eyes.

  
What surprised me more than that was that I slept soundly for the first night in a long, long time.


End file.
